Past Posting - An original version of the post was written on 8/17/05.

Today Peanut left. As I knew it would, my heart has been broken. Peanut, on the other hand, was quite stoic. I let him sleep as long as possible, and when I woke him up he just wrapped his arms around me and cried. He kept repeating "loublue America, loublue Mama" (Loublue=love). But when his tears subsided he got up and got dressed and was all business. When we were ready to leave he climbed in the car and saw that I had already put a blanket and pillow in the back for him. He smiled and said "Thank you, Mama." Every ounce of gratitude and love he had for me was poured into those three little words.

He slept all the way to the airport. Aside from a few tears when he was getting on the plane he was very brave. Braver than I was. My sister said I have to view this as the first step in bringing him home for good. So that's what I'm going to try to focus on. At least I'll focus on that after I hear the kids made it back to their orphanage safe and sound.