Christmas came and I was a wreck. I was angry and bitter and generally an unpleasant person to be around. I wanted him there with me and I was determined to not enjoy the holiday without him. The next day I thought over my actions on Christmas, realized I was acting like a petulant child, and promptly called my parents and my sisters and apologized.

Today I'm missing him as always, but I'm excited about what Easter will bring next year. Peanut loved hiding things -- I found the keys to my neighbor's house in my bathroom cabinet, action figures in my mixing bowls, and an old picture of me tucked in between the fitted sheet and mattress in his room. He will love this holiday (other than church, which he doesn't love yet). I spent time this morning just sitting on my couch imagining the places I could hide eggs with clues to the whereabouts of his basket.

I had a blessed childhood. My parents, dad especially, worked hard to make every holiday special. Easter was always fun. I had this HUGE basket that held an enormous amount of candy. The bounty was quickly depleted, though, because all the goose eggs (marshmallow eggs) went to my dad, I had to make baskets and share my candy with the girls who lived across the street, and, being the youngest-by-far of five kids, my siblings all took their unfair share of my basket. I'll never forget the year I still couldn't find my basket after hours and hours of searching. I finally found it Easter evening inside the clothes dryer in the basement. My mom was started to worry that she wouldn't be able to do laundry on Monday!

I'm so looking forward to the traditions and holidays I'm going to share with Peanut. So happy Easter, kiddo, wherever you are. I'm sending you hugs and all of my love.