I keep telling myself that I'll feel better when "X" happens. But I never do.

For a long, long time accreditation was the sweet elixir that would solve all my worries. Accreditation happened in early March: I was ecstatic, over-the-moon! But satisfied? No way.

The next step was getting my dossier filed. That happened last Monday: I was relieved, excited. But satisfied? Not a chance.

The next hurdle is finding out if Peanut is officially available for adoption. I was hoping to get news this week. Unfortunately, I learned today that the MOE takes about 10 days to review dossiers. Until my regional representative has been notified that my dossier has been reviewed there's not a lot they can do. Don't ask me why, because I don't know. I could have asked my coordinator more questions today, but I was so disappointed and unpleasantly surprised I was stunned into silence.

So I'm waiting again. And the sad truth of it all is when I learn that Peanut is available for adoption (because I won't entertain the alternative right now) I know that I won't be satisfied. I'll just be impatient and anxious for the next step. I don't think I'll be satisfied until he's home trying new tricks on his bike, cheating at cards, and begging me to rub his back while he watches Spongebob.