I just watched the movie Rent. I've never been able to catch the stage play, so I was excited to watch the movie. It just resonated with me and I can't get the lyrics out of my mind. The song "Seasons of Love" really made me reflect on the last year of my life.

525,600 minutes,
525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes --
how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets,
in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles,
in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes --
how do you measure a year in the life?

My life has taken a major turn in the past year. Last March I was in a pretty serious relationship that was on it's last legs. I spent so much energy trying to prod Mr. Inertia into following through with the things he said he wanted for himself and for us that I was blind to the fact that he didn't really want them at all. If you had asked me last year about my time with Mr. Inertia, I would have said they were all wasted minutes.

In retrospect, while our break up was hurtful and knocked me to my core, it was the impetus for my meeting Peanut. After spending more than a year in limbo with Mr. Inertia I was craving action. I liked the sound of the host program, so I jumped at the chance. And I'm so glad I did.

I spent 50,400 minutes with Peanut this summer. Some of those minutes were trying, frustrating, and troubling. But even the hard times were worth it and they were balanced by the most complete and true love I've ever felt for anyone. Those 50,400 minutes were the best of my life. They're precious.

During this year's 525,600 minutes, I've spent more time worrying, crying, being confused and frustrated than ever before. And, as everyone else who is adopting knows, we're all playing the biggest game of risk we've ever played. At times, this adoption process brings me to my knees. But every time I find my way to feet again I know that I'm stronger and wiser than I was before. As hard as this year has been, my minutes have been meaningful. While I would rather have Peanut here with me, any time given to the pursuit of his adoption is time well spent.