It was too brief. Peanut was brought into my life and it was wonderful... but it was too brief.

I'll never forget the first moment he walked off the plane. I whispered to my sister "There he is. There's my son." I knew right away we were meant to be together. During the five weeks he stayed with me we both experienced so much about life, bonding, and love. After a day or so of getting used to each other, he and I were a team.

Those of you who have adopted before will understand when I say that bonding is a process -- and it's a beautiful thing to experience. After his first full day here I told him I loved him even though I knew I should wait until he was more comfortable. After a moment of surprise he just smiled shyly. He wasn't used to hearing that and he liked it. Within a week or so he was saying "loublue tebya" back and by week 3 he really meant it.

Near the end of his stay he was attached and happy, but I recall a momentous occasion when I realized that -- above and beyond happy -- he was content. He always prefered my full attention and, unless otherwise necessary, I was happy to give it. But one day he grabbed his toy cars and some action figures and went on the back patio to play. Within a few minutes I looked outside with the intention of joining him. But I realized he was comfortable and secure enough to play without me.

So that is how I'm choosing to picture him now. In his new home I have heard that he is happy. I still wish I could write to him and I will continue to try. But for now, I have to have faith that I helped him develop security and trust so that he can be content and happy in his new life without me.

With the knowledge that he is OK and with someone who cares for him, I have to let my sweet boy go. I'll trust in God and his new mother to raise him with confidence, foster his intelligence and passion, encourage his generosity and humor, and never let his fighting spirit wither.

Peanut Pants is his story. (I don't know anyone else who arrived in America with purple warm-up pants chock full of airplane peanuts.) As much as it pains me, his story is no longer mine to tell. As for me, I'm moving on. I'm a firm believer that when God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window. So please join me on my search for The Open Window.

To my dear boy, I'm so sorry that I was never able to say goodbye. While I'm sad that we won't be family I am happy for your new chance in life. My wish for you is that you'll always remember to look for the good in life and in others. Love with your whole heart -- the way you loved me. Trust in yourself, your strength, and your instincts. Hang on to the people who love you because they will help you reach your full potential. You have the whole world in front you. With faith, prayer, ambition, and love you can go anywhere and do anything. I'm so proud of you and I love you with everything that I am.

To all of you who have followed Peanut Pants, thank you for your prayers and support. In closing, please comment and leave a wish and a prayer for Peanut.